After recent events in Minnesotta, Attorney General Pam Bondi has charged Governor Tim Walz with inciting an insurrection for his public statements instructing people to "protest peacefully." The Justice Department will be charging Walz with treason as well for uttering the irresponsible, inflammatory language including the known dog whistle buzz words "protest peacefully" that directly led to the recent Baptist church protest/struggle session. All "protesters" have also been arrested and will be held indefinitely until Bondi has gathered enough evidence to ruin their lives, or until a Democrat is elected president who will pardon them. At press time, the Minnesota governor's mansion had been raided by the FBI, however, insiders report Mrs. Walz's drawers were left undisturbed.
But that's not all that happened last week!
Read on for exclusive headlines you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason. (Title headline by @howiescheer.)
Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:
7-Year-Old Dreams Of Growing Up To Have A Job That Marco Rubio Will Do For Him @kirgol
ICE Agents In Minneapolis Line Up For Rabies Shot After Dealing With Feral White Women @dontslowtheearth
Adam Learned Early On That He Was Never Going To Defeat God In A Game Of Rock Paper Scissors @njhokie84
After Moses' Death, Marco Rubio Leads Israelites Into Promised Land @sirborsdeganys
Oprah Claims Obesity Gene Is Cause Of Her Overactive Fork @ruthiej714
Trump Sums Up New Inverted Food Pyramid: 'Grill Baby Grill!' @mjja
If A Trans Person Goes Missing, Do We Put Their Picture On A Carton Of Half And Half? @thecatman
Toddler Philosopher Asks, 'Why?' @ironsakura
Greenland Deploys Rosie O'Donnell Cut-outs To Scare Off Trump @thebigfreeze
Ihlan Omar Takes Off Turban Revealing Somali Family Hiding From ICE Agents @drconservativeprof
Who Would Jesus Deport From Garden Of Eden? @littlejedi
Italy Ups Stakes By Sending Two Moped Drivers To Greenland @realschlemiel
Americans Throw Somalis In Boston Harbor To Protest Taxation Without Representation @priehle
With Half Of Kiev Without Power, Citizens Urge Hunter Biden To Do That Board Member Thing He Does @slateslabrock
God Responds To Clean Heart Request With "Have You Tried Turning It Off And On Again?" @bmy61
Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favorites:
Adam States He Ate Forbidden Fruit Eve Gave Him Because "Happy Wife, Happy Life" @slayinggiants
After Maduro Takedown, Allstate Hires Trump As ‘Mayhem' For Future Commercials @ruthiej714
Department Of War Deploys New Sonic Weapon Using Voices From 'The View' @drconservativeprof
Bears Stocking Up On White Female Liberal Spray @iotaknowbetter
Woman Naturally Enters Cryosleep As Outdoor Temperatures Dip Below Freezing @skol
Rubio Goes Into Hiding After Hearing White House Janitor Quit @kirgol
Walz Clearly Incites Insurrection By Asking Minnesotans To "Protest Peacefully" @howiescheer
Desperate For More Men In Greenland, France Sends Brigitte Macron @davidjohnson
Hobbits Stop At Local Bed And Breakfast And Breakfast @baberahamlincoln
Church Coffee Cart Signs Deal With Pennzoil @optimus_bardlederp
BONUS - One randomly selected headline:
Josh Shapiro Divulges That Team Kamala's Vetting Process Included Asking Him To Eat A Ham Sandwich @westminsterabs
Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments below. And, we lost a very special Bee this week, rest in peace dear @secondgenpappy.
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