Vice President Vance followed up his best selling Hillbilly Elegy with a controversial European Eulogy this week in Munich. Dignitaries packed the room to honor the dying union with some nodding agreement, some crying and some sitting with blank expressions of denial as Vance detailed the terminal disease that has destroyed the old world union. After the ceremony, Vance was assured the EU had gleaned some creative ideas from the movie Weekend At Bernies and everything would be just fine. Our VP happily returned to the US, land of the free speech and home of the brave. But that's not all that happened last week!
Read on for exclusive headlines you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason.
Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:
Man With Goose That Lays Golden Eggs Wishes It Would Lay Some Regular Ones @thebigfreeze
Wealthy Parents Add Carton Of Eggs To Daughter's Dowry @kirgol
150 Year Old Social Security Recipient Identified: Mitch McConnell @gfanson
Israelis Nervous Where Egypt Plans To Get The Labor To Rebuild Gaza Strip @dontslowtheearth
Methuselah Still Getting Social Security Checks @twoplus2ischicken
'WHO IS KAMALA HARRIS?' Stumps Jeopardy Contestants @annafillaxis
Rookie Husband Pulls Kitchen Knife Out Of Knife Block Without Claiming To Be King Arthur @mjja
Tulsi Puts Every Senator That Voted Against Her On The Terror Watch List @drconservativeprof
Op-ed: Who Will Make Our Movies If All The People From The Epstein List Go To Prison? @molivson
Secretary Rubio Doesn't Really Care What Margaret Thinks Either @ruthiej714
7 Essential Oils For Masking The Migrant Caravan Smell In Your Luxury Hotel Room @buzzyboy
Canadian Med Student Chooses 'Ear, Nose, Throat, And Euthanasia' As His Specialization @fishythepenguin
Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favorites:
Donald Trump Promises To Help Rebuild Philadelphia After Disastrous Eagles Win @lpathehuman
Democrats Warn If Trump Cuts Fraud And Waste They Will Be Unable To Bankrupt The Country @mrmsz1961
First Ever Couples Fight After Adam Caught Using Eve's Fig Leaf Scissors To Do Yard Work @dontslowtheearth
Uh-Oh! Baptist Communion Grape Juice Sat In The Sun Too Long And Now Everyone's Anglican @beehappy2
Rich Young Chicken Farmer Walks Away From Jesus Feeling Sorrowful For He Had Many Eggs @batknight
Democrats Shut Down ‘Abuses Of Power' Hotline After Remembering They Are The Ones Abusing Power @mrmsz1961
BONUS - One randomly selected headline:
Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments!
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