Federal judges across the country have been blocking President Trump's executive orders, so this week Trump appointed himself to the Supreme Court via executive order after executively ordering Chief Justice Roberts to retire. Insiders say Trump considered asking Ketanji Brown Jackson to retire, as she is liberal and doesn't know what a woman is, but then thought it would be more appropriate for a sitting president to be the Chief Justice. The Trump agenda will now have a chance to make America great again, again. Former Chief Justice Roberts has been deported to Ireland. But that's not all that happened last week!
Read on for exclusive headlines you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason.
Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:
Activist Waits To Hear If She Should Support Clean Air Or Torch EVs Today @priehle
Barron Trump Accidentally Squashes Several Protesters While Leaving Trump Tower @thebigfreeze
Democrats With Egg On Face Exposed As Cause Of National Egg Shortage @tamerity
Checkmate: Trump Appoints Himself Federal Judge @dontslowtheearth
Wife Reassures Husband The Clunking Sound On The Car Doesn't Bother Her @kirgol
Trump Tells DOE Workers They Can Keep Their Jobs If They Bring Him One Baltimore Public High School Student That Can Read @drconservativeprof
Southern Waffle House Patrons Unfazed As Tornado Passes By @twoplus2ischicken
Trump Sends All Rehired Probationary Federal Workers To New Field Office In Nome, AK @annafillaxis
Tesla Introduces Model AR-15 @gfanson
Ireland Goes On Major Bender And Wakes Up Next To Rosie O'Donnell @surfduck
Climate Scientists Decide To Drive Through Amazon To The Climate Conference So People Won't Make Fun Of Their Planes Anymore @fishythepenguin
Frustrated Leprechauns Find A Zelenskyy IOU In Empty Pot At End Of Rainbow @ruthiej714
Democrats Warn Trump Revoking Student Visas May Seriously Reduce Number Of Terrorists In America @garbageman24
Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favorites:
Trump Declares March "Women's History Of Losing To Me In Elections" Month @buzzyboy
Spring Breakers Score Free Trip To Mexico With Trump's Deportation App @priehle
Local Woman Gives Up Being Right For Lent @beehappy2
Christians On X Mercilessly Attack One Another… Just Like Christ Would Want @slayinggiants
Trump Rescinds All Tariffs On Ireland After Nation's Leaders Threaten To Deport Rosie O'Donnell @jcase2
San Francisco Unveils Gavin Newsom Bust Made Entirely Out Of Poop @twoplus2ischicken
Husband Agrees To 30-day Cease Fire If Cookies Included In Negotiations @ruthiej714
Ben And Jerry's Launches New Mifepristone Chocolate Chip Ice Cream @emotnlsupportpython
Zelenskyy's Top Strategist Revealed To Be The Black Knight @captianadam
BONUS - One randomly selected headline:
Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments!
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