Remember way back when a judge in the UK ruled that calling men bald is sexual harassment, and we all got a good laugh and made Elisha jokes?

Those were good times.

But, never fear, the UK is the land that keeps on giving when it comes to creating absurd crimes.

The defendants in that case appealed the sexual harassment charge all the way to the nation's highest court, and the court ruled that … well this has to be quoted to be believed:

According to the judge's comments, she agreed that commenting on a man's lack of hair was equivalent to speaking about the size of a woman's breasts. In concluding, rightly, that baldness is more prevalent in men, the tribunal was not importing questions of disparate adverse impact into its reasoning.

'Rather it was recognising the fact that the characteristic by reference to which Mr King had chosen to abuse [Mr Finn] was more prevalent in people of [Mr Finn]'s gender, more likely to be directed at such people, and, as such, inherently related to sex', the judge said.

That's right, commenting on a man's bald head is equivalent to commenting on a woman's breasts, and it is now considered sexual harassment in the UK.

I can't wait for the attorney commercials on the telly.

Have you been the victim of baldy-scrimination? You may be entitled to sexual harassment damages!

I feel like bald men need some clever comebacks, like the ladies have, to combat all the sexism they face in the workplace.

• My eyes are down here!

• No, I don't believe in love at first shine!

• Rub my head for luck? At least buy me dinner first!

I gotta know, if you're not full-on bald but you do Bic your head to the skin, do you count as a true baldy, or is that just transbald?

We gotta get some clarity on this new form of discrimination!

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