Huge news here, everyone: People still actually live in San Francisco.
Oh wait, my editor is telling me that this is not the news. The news is that San Francisco has set up a bunch of "speed safety cameras" and is now handing out speeding tickets with fines - get this - based specifically on a speeder's income.
Yes, equitable speeding tickets!
Here's the scoop:
Violations for speeding range from $50 to $500, but individuals with a household income at or below 200% of the federal poverty level are eligible for a 50% discount, according to the San Francisco Municipal Transportation Agency. Indigent persons, or individuals who are homeless, are eligible for an 80% discount on the speeding ticket.
This is not satire:
This Speed Safety System Pilot Program was signed in 2023 by - you guessed it! - Gavin Newsom. No word on whether or not he's changed his mind on the program now that he's pretending not to be a far-Left progressive so that he has a chance at the presidency in 2028.
There are currently 33 of these speed cameras set up in San Francisco, half of which are in use.
So I guess next time I'm speeding in San Francisco I'll go ahead and tell the authorities "my truth," which is that I'm a homeless man who lives in my Tesla and I can never sleep at night because people are constantly drawing swastikas on my car and trying to light it on fire.
That should get me a pretty decent discount!
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