Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the clown-world Super Bowl, where we learn if we'll have cheap gas and spaceships on Mars ... or if we'll all starve under the rule of gay commies.
In addition to our regular election coverage, we'll be posting updates on various exit polls and results as they roll in. Expect things to get really spicy between 8 p.m. Tuesday and 2 a.m. Wednesday!
12:55 a.m. EST - Oh man...
12:51 a.m. EST - Kamala's campaign sends all her supporters home. Kamala will not be making an address.
12:32 a.m. EST - Kamala is reportedly MIA at her watch party and will apparently not address the crowd.
12:09 a.m. EST - Kamala supporters are heading home.
11:54 p.m. EST - Latinos went YUGE for Trump in Michigan.
11:32 p.m. EST - Reported memo from Kamala campaign says they don't plan to make any statements until 3 a.m.
11:20 p.m. EST - Kamala HQ has fallen silent.
11:13 p.m. EST - IMPORTANT: BIDEN IS IN BED.
11:11 p.m. EST - WHAT IS GOING ON IN DETROIT?
10:35 p.m. EST - Elon Musk seems to think it's in the bag for Trump.
10:33 p.m. EST - JOY REID IS LOSING IT BECAUSE HALF THE NATION VOTED FOR LITERALLY HITER™.
10:16 p.m. EST - CBS says there is "nothing nefarious" about not knowing the results in PA by the end of the night.
9:55 p.m. EST - Millennials and Zoomers live up their reputations.
8:34 p.m. EST - Donald Trump pulled ahead in Virginia???
7:44 p.m. EST - Decision Desk HQ increases Trump's odds of winning 👀
7:34 p.m. EST - Kamala woefully underperforming in Georgia according to Fox exit poll.
7:33 p.m. EST - Georgia exit polls show 20-point swing among independent voters in favor of Trump.
6:57 p.m. EST - Trump reminds everyone to stay on line!
6:49 p.m. EST - Multiple Georgia polling places evacuated due to ongoing bomb threats.
6:34 p.m. EST - Lara Trump posts message regarding ballot recounts in Milwaukee.
6:27 p.m. EST - Totally no shenanigans happening in Iowa.
6:23 p.m. EST - Our founder, Adam Ford, just dropped a new election comic that is pure 🔥
5:50 p.m. EST - Milwaukee, Wisconsin, will recount around 30,000 absentee ballots due to tabulation error.
5:37 p.m. EST - JILL BIDEN WORE MAGA RED TO VOTE.
5:14 p.m. EST - CNN exit polls show 43% of American voters are "dissatisfied" with how things are going in the country, 29% are "angry."
5:05 p.m. EST - Trump is now in the lead on the Polymarket betting site in every swing state except Michigan.
4:37 p.m. EST - The FBI has arrested two liberal men in Michigan who are accused of making death threats against Trump.
The FBI arrested Issac Sissel, who had both New York and Washington state driver's licenses. He's accused of using a 'PlanningToKillTrump' account on Reddit and, according to an FBI tip, later threatened to 'carry out an attack against conservative Christian filth in the event trump wins the election.'
Nice guy!
Separately, the FBI arrested Christopher Pierce on the same federal charge as Sissel, a single count of communicating threats. He is accused of posting violent messages as far back as June 2022, allegedly writing 'what comes next with (sic) make January 6th look like a Sunday stroll through the park! Democracy is dead! (if it ever existed).'
... Last month, he allegedly sent multiple messages to a political action committee.
4:30 p.m. EST - CNN isn't seeming too confident about Kamala's chances.
4:11 p.m. EST - John Roberts says Kamala will need 700,000 votes in Philly to win PA (Biden only got 603k).
2:53 p.m. EST - Republicans are maintaining a lead in Nevada, even WITH mail-in ballots
2:28 p.m. EST - Multiple reports are coming in that Google, the number 1 corporate sponsor to Kamala Harris, is excluding Trump on search results for where to vote.
2:22 p.m. EST - A polling location has been evacuated outside of metro Detroit due to a "gas leak":
2:18 p.m. EST - There are reports that a Democratic state representative in Rhode Island is handing out defaced ballots as voter guides.
2:08 p.m. EST - I know y'all have been following this election for years, but there really are people like this out there 👇
1:51 p.m. EST - LOOK AT THIS MAP!
1:45 p.m. EST - The U.S. Capitol Visitor's Center has been closed after a weird dude showed up with a flare gun.
1:29 p.m. EST - Maricopa County continues to hold strong for the GOP.
1:12 p.m. EST - Trump takes to social media with some major optimism and tells supporters to stay in voting lines.
1:00 p.m. EST - AOC says we must vote because it's a little unseasonably warm.
12:54 p.m. EST - Pennsylvania is having its usual problems with basic electronic voting technology, so voting hours in Cambria County have been extended.
12:35 p.m. EST - Republicans have retaken Guam.
10:40 a.m. EST - Maricopa County, Arizona, one of the most contested counties in 2020, is seeing strong turnout for Trump.
10:27 a.m. EST - Jonah Goldberg makes the stupidest voter decision in world history.
10:24 a.m. EST - A former Michigan secretary of state is claiming over 34,000 noncitizens have been found on the state's voter rolls after a Chinese national was discovered to have illegally voted last week.
10:18 a.m. EST - A helpful reminder that many states do not allow clothing with political messaging at the polls.
9:48 a.m. EST - Real Clear Politics final projections predict Trump victory. 👀
9:42 a.m. EST - Trump posts a message instructing supporters to stay in line at the polls as long as it takes.
9:20 a.m. EST - "Historic" turnout in Trump country Pennsylvania!
9:18 a.m. EST - Folks, it's almost over.
9:13 a.m. EST - Florida is going YUGE for Trump.
9:03 a.m. EST - Pennsylvanians are reporting on Facebook that voting machines are down at multiple precincts across the state.
8:34 a.m. EST - MSNBC is spending the morning fearmongering to the max.
8:30 a.m. EST - Social media is full of reports of long lines as polls open across the nation.
8:24 a.m. EST - Pollster Nate Silver is getting mercilessly trolled for his most recent coin-toss prediction.
8:16 a.m. EST - Remember to have fun out there!
8:06 a.m. EST - More than 82 million Americans voted ahead of Election Day, a whopping 52% of all votes cast in 2020.
7:59 a.m. EST - The GOP chairman reports that Republican poll watchers were being turned away in multiple Pennsylvania counties (whoever wins PA will likely win the election).
7:52 a.m. EST - A tiny town with 6 voters in New Hampshire was split between Trump and Kamala in an early-morning vote, a deviation from 2016 and 2020, when the Democrat candidate was clearly favored.
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