Insiders report the FBI intentionally fed Tucker Carlson fake chemtrail documents discussed on his podcast last week in fear that he might start looking into the surveillance birds released during the Biden administration. The millions of AI birds sent out to catch MAGA voters going to church and work and paying taxes and doing other MAGA things have largely gone unnoticed. They look and fly just like any other bird, however their only purpose in life is to watch people and take pictures with their little camera lens eyes. Thus far, the Feds have been afraid to use the pictures for fear someone will ask how they got them and then people would find out about the birds, which would be bad. Thankfully, the chemtrail documents which were totally 100% fake, we think, worked. Tucker has not yet noticed the surveillance birds, though insiders also report they expect this quiet period of intense data collection may not last long since Candace Owens has been photographed staring a little too intently at the birds lately.
But that's not all that happened last week!
Read on for exclusive headlines you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason. (Title headline by @alola_rychu.)
Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:
MAGA Voter Brings Up Trump At Thanksgiving To Save Money On Christmas Presents @ruthiej714
Baptist Church Donates Denim Sleepers To Hospital For Babies Born Naked @kirgol
Kamala Says She Would Have Defeated Trump If She Could Have Escaped From The Chinese Finger Cuffs He Sent Her @drconservativeprof
Mother With Broken Back Wonders Which One Of Her Eight Kids Stepped On A Crack @dontslowtheearth
Trump Secures Release Of 340 Million Americans Held Hostage By Leftists @coachjoeconway
Clown Demon Changes Name To 'Nickelwise' To Be Taken Seriously Again @realschlemiel
If Hollywood Actors Are Replaced By AI, Who Will Lecture Us About Climate Change? @mjja
Child Masters Ancient Art Of Moving Food Around On Plate To Make It Look Like He's Eaten Enough To Have A Cookie @lpathehuman
Democrats Concerned After Fetterman Seen Wearing Reagan Tee Shirt And Flag Draped Across Shoulders After Hitting Head Again @thebigfreeze
St Peter Denies Entrance To Heaven Until Heretics Repent And Put Ketchup In The Fridge @littlejedi
Pandora Gets Ready To Open Another Government Entitlement Program @yantelope
Study Finds That No-one Actually Knows What Sloppy Joes Are Made Of, And Just Thought That Everyone Else Knew @davidjohnson
Rookie Rook Demands To Be Called Castle @ironsakura
Turkey Plans To Spend The Rest Of November Disguised As A Hot Pocket @alola_rychu
Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favorites:
Peppermint Candy Manufacturer Introduces New 'Extra Loud' Cellophane Paper Just For Church Services @kubrickfilmfan73
Democrats Fear Trump Will Weaponize Government Against Criminals @jswag
Trump's Approval Rating Plummets After Signing Bill To Reopen Government @kirgol
Dems Go Back To Having Respect For Child Sex Groomers After Emails Allege Epstein Didn't Like Trump @emotnlsupportpython
Feds Distract Tucker Carlson With Fake Chemtrail Documents To Keep Him Away From The Surveillance Birds @alola_rychu
Poll Shows 78% Of Americans Favor Gov't Benefits The Other 22% Pay For @ballbounces
BONUS - One randomly selected headline:
Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments!
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