Virginia Attorney General candidate Jay Jones picked up a coveted endorsement from Antifa last week after violent text messages from Jones were revealed. The black clad spirit animal of the Democratic Party released a statement commending Jones for his 'death to Republicans and their children' core beliefs, pledging to help him accomplish his worthy goals with their little noodle arms. In addition, Al Gore has announced production of 'An Inconvenient Truth II' in support of Jones' views.
But that's not all that happened last week!
Read on for exclusive headlines you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason. (Title headline by @ilovelamp123.)
Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:
Kids Disappointed To Learn Government Shutdown Doesn't Include School @kirgol
California Issuing Licenses With Generic Lego Faces @twoplus2ischicken
Weird: Chemtrail-Filled Skies Transform To Clear Blue During Government Shutdown @priehle
Residents Of Sodom And Gomorrah Wish God Had Just Sent In The National Guard @ruthiej714
Aliens Determine No Intelligent Life On Earth After Democrats Take Them To Meet Their Leader AOC @dontslowtheearth
Hegseth Calls For Peace Through FAFO @gfanson
Man Wishes There Was A Form Of Christianity That Didn't Need A Pope @thebigfreeze
Spirit Halloween Releases First Costume In Congressional Ghoul Series: Moody Maxine @annafillaxis
Texas To Provide All Illegals Free Transportation To Vatican City @jvv20278
Rookie Pope Believes In God And The Bible @ironsakura
John Fetterman Joins Republican Party After Donald Trump Releases A MAGA Comfort Fleece Hoodie @lpathehuman
Amazon Releases New Prime Dating App That Delivers Your Dream Spouse To Your Door Within 24hrs @batknight
Pelosi Outraged Her Flying Monkeys Have Been Furloughed @eversong
Maryland Dad Deported To Minnesota @libshateamerica
Media Warns AI May Soon Become Self-Aware, Start Putting Sombreros On Democrats All By Itself @baberahamlincoln
Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favorites:
Democrats Warn A Shutdown Will Stop Taxpayer Dollars From Flowing Into Their Campaigns @mbutcher1000
Study: Majority Of Chicago 12th-Graders Unable To Read Bullet Casings At Grade Level @daviddeeble
"How Long, O Lord, Must The Righteous Suffer" Pleads Husband While Shopping With Wife @farnorth
Trump Out As Commander In Chief After Hegseth's New Fitness Rules @priehle
Bowing To Pressure From Conservatives, NFL Selects Thomas Sowell To Perform Super Bowl Halftime Show @blindbucky1996
British Government Bans Jewish Holidays To Prevent Mass Stabbings @batknight
Man Takes A Stand And Quits Using His In-Laws Netflix Account @bombtomfill
Scandal As "I Could Sing Of Your Love Forever" Chorus Only Repeated Seven Times @chromagrionconditum
Antifa Endorses Virginia Attorney General Candidate Jay Jones @ilovelamp123
BONUS - One randomly selected headline:
Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments!
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