The motive behind the horrific cancellation of Jimmy Kimmel's late night show last week may never be known. Reporters scouring the statement of Disney executives to find any clues have thus far come up empty. Kimmel was reportedly completely blindsided by the cancellation of his cute little comedy hour which was announced even after his tender and touching monologue about the MAGA patriot who shot Charlie Kirk, insisting that all three of his viewers had liked it. Reporters had yet to actually watch the final episode, with one saying he would rather get a root canal. After not being able to come up with a good motive for the firing, Disney reinstated the show. But that's not all that happened last week!
Read on for exclusive headlines you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason. (Title headline by @dontslowtheearth.)
Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:
Methuselah Now Believes That Tapping Into His 401K At Age 59 1/2 Was Not A Good Idea @njhokie84
America May Never Know The Motive Behind The Firing Of Jimmy Kimmel @dontslowtheearth
Home-schooled Only Child Applies For Turning Point USA Campus Chapter @annafillaxis
Jimmy Fallon Will Now Be Wearing MAGA Cap During Show Just To Be Safe @thebigfreeze
Both Jimmy Kimmel Viewers Outraged At Show's Cancellation @coachjoeconway
Babylon Bee Writers Celebrate Gov Tim Walz Return To Campaign Trail @ruthiej714
Introducing Ken & Gary - Two Guys Who Like Ice Cream More Than Politics @alola_rychu
AOC Complains Flags Were Never Lowered To Half Mast For Any Of Her Deaths @drconservativeprof
Comedian Barack Obama Claims His White House Worked Only For Peace And Unity @jvv20278
3,025 Years From Now, Life Will Either Be Good Or Bad, It's 5050 @thecatman
Southern Baptist Man Enters Rehab After Mistakenly Eating Rum Cake @jakflak
'Days Without Blaming The Jews' Counter Still Stuck On 0 @yantelope
Sad: Ben & Jerry's Discontinue Bella Ciao Ciao Ciao Trans Swirl @gfanson
Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favorites:
Far-Right Lunatic Hits Ilhan Omar With Long Range ‘Thoughts And Prayers' @jswag
Taylor Swift Worried Travis Kelce Won't Make A Good Father After He Keeps Dropping Object Size Of A Baby @dontslowtheearth
Luigi Mangione Has Charges Dropped After Hitting 1up Mushroom @captainadam
To Clean Up Country, Trump Creates New Department Of Exorcism @kirgol
Furry Co-Conspirator Sentenced To Ten Years In Kennel @flmax
40yo Woman Realizes She Wasted Her Life On Family And It's Too Late To Become A CEO @baberahamlincoln
Brigitte Macron To Provide Evidence She Is A Woman By Making Sandwich For Emmanuel On Camera @surfduck
BONUS - One randomly selected headline:
Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments!
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